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  • doodles by Ang

▶︎ Must be Nice

Performed by PremRock and FreshKils

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Various doodles by Ang

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On What It's Like to Live Alone

I went 12 years without a sibling

Without a mom, only one half of father

I went 2 years without supervision, my first blackout left a mark on the door

I went 8 more years without weekends,

And the next two, without evenings

You lose count after 60 hours

after your 50th portafilter lock at 5am

between crying kids

joyful kids too,

when your partner can't see that the house is burning down

The days will blur in between

A year will feel like a handful of months

And suddenly I realize

That I was alone, but only half-way, always bound by neglect and codependency

but then I decided,

I won't be a l o n e,

instead

encased by love.

And now all I wanna be

is god damn left alone

I asked my case of love, the building blocks, the bricks, the cement, my

foundation

"What do you enjoy most about living alone? I think I'm scared because I forgot

how to."

They said:

-I thought I was gonna die, but   guess   what????!!! nothing happens.

-sing ugly, sing loud, do it naked

-buy ALL your favorite ice cream flavors and share it with no one

-I like to fuddy duddy with my plants

-get lost in a new place; flaneur

-i love being high by myself

-play the same 4 videos for days on end

-i like to leave a mess and not have to worry about someone bitching about it later

it seems like everybody was in on something I didn't know

and it reminded me that

being alone

is a nice luxury.

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Doodles

Ever since I took an art class in college, I have found many techniques to express myself. My favorite being that one time I was able to express social change in my education stance. There I was able to use a collage of my pictures I took in my phone for that year as well as quotes that related to me. It was amazing to see my growth as an individual and artist and very grateful many recognize that. For this year, I decided to take a different approach and just doodle my emotions away. Please enjoy some of the many doodles I have done. Peace and love–Ang

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When drawing the first card I've asked "What are we being called to let go of as the waning moon becomes new over the next week?"

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7 of SWORDS...

     You may have a lot of secrets. Or you have built up shame, regret, guilt, have been trying to get away from something, be someone you're not, etc... Let it go. Be you. Let go of any fears related to being your truest self/living your truth. Your past is what makes you. Everyone makes mistakes, we all have secrets. What matters is who you are today and whether or not you are being honest right now. Start now. Let go of whoever you thought you were, tell the truth and live in love. Don't be shook babe.

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Card #2 tells us what we are to embrace this coming New Moon in Cancer.

4 of CUPS *reversed*

      reiterates this theme prior to the new moon where we let go of regrets, shame, & guilt. Let's embrace ourselves FULLY. Love yourself as you want to be loved by others, unconditionally. We're our own worst critics, for real. Start off with a clean slate and live your best life please!!!!!!!!! Now is the time.

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Last card offers us future advice and encouragement–

10 of CUPS *reversed*

      says "BE CAREFUL" in many different ways..... The week or two after the new moon, you may be feeling stuck creatively, "out of ideas" "feeling desperate" "feeling lonely"... Do not succumb to this. Embrace the solitude, the emptiness. Know that there is love all around you. Funny how this card warns of walking a path that doesn't align with us energetically or morally, and the very first card drawn tells us to let go of negativity, lies, deceit, fear... 

What a beautiful pattern laid out before us! Universe is telling us, we get what we ask for and your energy makes the most requests! ♥︎

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